Holiday Blues: Finding Balance Between Grief and Gratitude 

While social media and TV commercials tout the joyful hustle and bustle of the holidays, you may be finding yourself struggling to get into the spirit, leaving you with the holiday blues. 

Whether you have lost a loved one, are experiencing abundant stress, missing friends and family, or on an uphill battle, we understand this season can be especially difficult. While we know we can’t erase these feelings (and you shouldn’t try to), our team has a few tips for balancing grief and gratitude. 

Acknowledge Your Grief. It’s okay to acknowledge that the holidays may look and feel different this year, and that missing someone or struggling with loss is part of your journey. Suppressing feelings only leads to harsher emotions that eventually boil over. Rather than suppressing those emotions, allow them to coexist with moments of joy, remembering that grief is not a sign of weakness, but a reflection of love and connection.

Go Easy on Yourself. It’s important to be gentle with yourself, recognizing that healing doesn’t follow a set timeline, and that it’s okay to take up space for both sorrow and celebration as you navigate this season. Think of how you’d treat a grieving loved one—and then be just as patient and kind with yourself as you would be with them.

Consider a Gratitude Exercise.  Take time to notice and appreciate the beauty and goodness in your everyday surroundings. If you see someone in need, lend a helping hand—small acts of kindness can be a way to “pay it forward” and recognize the blessings in your own life. Not only does offering kindness show appreciation for others, but it can also inspire gratitude in them.

Another simple yet meaningful way to express your gratitude is through words. A heartfelt compliment or “thank you” can have a big impact. You can also write a note or letter to someone, sharing what you appreciate about them. This small gesture takes little effort but can deeply convey your gratitude.

Lean on Family and Friends. Our closest family and friends want to help us, but before they can, they need to know we need it. Schedule time to connect with them, and let them know how you’re feeling. Being vulnerable can be difficult, but it’s the best way to ensure you get the help you need. If being face-to-face is too intimidating, consider making a phone call, or even just sending a text. 

Honor Lost Loved Ones. Did your loved one have a favorite holiday dessert or a special tradition?  Continuing to include these familiar elements in your celebrations might offer a comforting way to honor their memory. 

However, if revisiting these traditions feels too painful, it might be healing to create a new tradition that allows you to remember them in a way that feels more manageable. There’s no right or wrong approach—this is your time to grieve in the way that feels best for you. Whether you choose to keep old customs or start fresh ones, the important thing is to do what brings you peace and supports your healing.

Finding the balance between grief and gratitude is a long, winding road. If you or a loved one are experiencing any mental health struggles this holiday season (or any time) explore our resources or call the Crisis Hotline at (419) 289-6111.